Saturday, September 19, 2009
#3 - Devour - Marilyn Manson
Soundtrack to my life #3: Devour - Marilyn Manson
I'll swallow up all of you
Like a big bottle of big, big pills
You're the one that I should never take
But i can't sleep until I devour you
I can't sleep until I devour you
You're a flower that's withering
I can't feel your thorns in my hand
This is no embrace, your buried deep
b>And you're not crying
This is blood all over me
You're not crying
This is blood all over me
You're not crying
This is blood all over me
And i'll love you, if you let me
I'll love you, if you won't make me starve
I used to hold your haunted neck
I know I'll miss you if I close my eyes
But this is loaded if i open them
I'll see you and I'll blow your heart to pieces
I will blow your heart to pieces
I will blow your heart to pieces
I will blow your heart to pieces
And I'll love you, if you let me
And I'll love you, if you won't make me starve
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh
My pain is not ashamed to repeat itself
My pain is not ashamed to repeat itself
Pain's not ashamed to repeat itself
Pain's not ashamed to repeat itself
I can't sleep until I devour you
I can't sleep until I devour you
I can't sleep until I devour you
I can't sleep until I devour you
And I'll love you, if you let me
And I'll love you, if you won't make me starve
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Today, I woke up.
The sky around me shattered and broke, I looked up and saw true heaven.
I moved into a new house in August. It's September and we are almost settled in.
When I sit in the living room, and watch everyone hanging out
I feel like I'm watching my life like a movie I've seen before.
It's a strange feeling that puts me in a place somewhere between dreaming and being dead
I'm not sure if I should, but I think I like it.
Posted at 11:50:36 pm by
Jeszika Lynn
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Wednesday, July 08, 2009
mood: falling deeper into hell
I abandoned my dreams and fell for a false star.
Suddenly she looked at the world spread out before her and wept, for life had become empty and meaningless.
>
Posted at 10:51:38 pm by
Jeszika Lynn
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Friday, May 22, 2009
Track #2 - Tool - H.
My fear begins to fade
Recalling all of those times.
I could have cried then.
I should have cried then.
And as the walls come down and
As I look in your eyes
My fear begins to fade
Recalling all of the times
I have died
and will die.
It's all right.
I don't mind.
I am too connected to you to
Slip away, to fade away.
Days away I still feel you
Touching me, changing me,
And considerately killing me [x2]
And considerately killing
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I want to write one album. Only one.
Posted at 12:38:15 am by
Jeszika Lynn
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Sunday, March 15, 2009
Leo:
It's difficult for you to maintain your sense of playfulness today because a volatile emotional interaction may raise serious issues. You could even doubt your own wisdom now, especially if your current strategy hasn't brought you any closer to happiness. But don't make any drastic changes to your plan. Your perspective will change in the weeks ahead and you might just realize then that everything is on course, whether or not you can see it that way right now.
Posted at 2:58:36 pm by
Jeszika Lynn
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Tuesday, March 03, 2009
TEAR MY HEART OUT AND DROWN MY SOUL IN THE REALITY OF THIS LIFE
Along the winding path in the forest I saw you. My severed hands could not receive your tainted bread.
Delusional. Sleepless. Can't close my eyes they will be here when I awake.
Am I burning in hell or is this just a dream?
The luscious chocolate slid down my fingers with immense clarity in a sea of indecision.
I haven't been this sick in years.
Posted at 6:04:43 pm by
Jeszika Lynn
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Thursday, February 19, 2009
(I've been in bed for 7 days) Survey
Is there someone who always makes fun of you?
Oh yeah sure. I can think of a pair of bitches that always do. Fuck them they're just jealous cause my ass and thighs aren't full of cellulite and I don't have to get naked and pole dance to get attention.
How far away is the last person you kissed?
I dunno actually
Has someone ever told you that they would be with you forever?
Yeah and well we all see how far he got with that.....
Have you ever had alcohol poisoning?
Not that I know of
Any plans for tomorrow?
Sleep
Do you find the opposite sex confusing?
No, actually they are pretty predictable.
But that doesn't mean what they do isn't frustrating and annoying!
What do you want most right now?
Sex
When was the last time you were sick?
right now. ugh.
How long does it take for you to take a shower?
uuuuuuuuusually about 45 minutes
When is your birthday?
July 23rd
Is tomorrow going to be a good day?
I'm going to lay in bed all day......again.
Did you kiss or hug anyone yesterday?
Nope.
Ever thrown up in public?
Nope.
Where would you like to live?
I like living in philly......just in a nicer house with a living room I can actually relax in and cable and no bitch roommates that I hate.
Who was the last person to leave you a comment?
uh I dunno some guy
When was the last time you cried?
on saturday when I my entire body was in agony and I thought I was going to suffocate and die from being so sick.
Do you miss anything/anyone?
Yeah......he needs to come back already.
Can you imagine yourself living in a cardboard box?
yeah sure whatever, as long as I could have sex there.
Who was the last person you talked to?
sh0ck
What is the worst subject they teach in school?
Uh Gym pretty much sucks no matter what.
Have you seen anyone lately that you dont get along with?
Yeah sure, but they can blow me......or not because I don't want the STDs
What is your favorite color shirt to wear?
black I guess......or that dark plum color.
Have you ever been in a car accident?
nope
Whats the closet thing to you that is green?
a squishy pillow
Where would you like to be right now?
laying right here in this bed......but having sex instead of doing this.
What do you hear?
MSI
Last person you texted?
Uh........Lauren
Who do you have texts from in your phone?
Lauren pretty much
Is anything bugging you right now?
I want to have sex
Do you hate being alone?
oh god yes
What was the first thing you thought this morning?
"wow I just passed out for 9 hours without moving or anything"
What did you do yesterday?
sleep.cough.pills.sleep.cough.eat.sleep.
Will this weekend be a good one?
I dunno it'll just be normal I guess.
What were you doing at 7am this morning?
marveling at the fact that I slept a whole night in my house by myself without waking up once.
Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months or more?
Yeah sure, my relationships are usually that long or longer.
What woke you up this morning?
I dunno I just woke up
Who was the last person you rode in a car with besides family?
Glitch and Sh0ck
Who was the last person you cried in front of?
Glitch when I was dying of sickness.
What are you thinking about right now?
Being sick/ sex
Last night did you go to sleep smiling?
Maybe......I don't even remember going to sleep really.
Did you have a good day yesterday?
not really. I laid in bed all day. yay good day.....
Will you talk to the person you like tonight?
I already talked to him earlier but I'll probably go to bed before I talk to him again.
What is your current mood?
sick/ want to have sex
Wearing:
Glitch's sweatshirt + undies
If the year consisted of one season what would you choose?
Fall.best weather of the year
Are you tanned?
hahahaha. no.
Have you ever been out past curfew?
Curfew? uh I never had one of those.
How did you and your number 1 become friends?
She asked me for help on a computer project one day....we ended up looking at softcore porn instead of doing the project....hahaha what a suprise!
how many friends have your back?
all of them. rawr.
do you need a hug?
no. I need to get fucked.
what are you looking forward to in the near future?
sex
how are you doing in school?
I don't go to school anymore :/
could you cry right now?
Nope. No reason too....
what are you doing after this?
playing on myspace, talking on aim and eventually passing out.
Are you dating the person you currently like?
Yeah! Weird, huh?
what do you want to do when you grow up?
I dunno, be happy.
Posted at 12:47:27 pm by
Jeszika Lynn
Permalink
Monday, January 26, 2009
I'll wait for an angel but I won't hold my breath.
The Soundtrack to my Life - Track #1 - Satan's Bed, Pearl Jam
It's not all been said...been said and done...
I've never slept in Satan's bed
Although I must admit...he still visits my place
Uninvited, as you know, he don't wait
Funny how he always seems to fit in
Funny how I always want to give in
Sundays, Fridays, Tuesdays, Thursday, the same
Sometimes the special guest, he don't like to leave
Already...in love...
Already...
Who made, who made up, made up the myth
That we were born to be covered in bliss?
Who set the standard, born to be rich?
Such fine examples, skinny little bitch
Model, role model, roll some models in blood
Get some flesh to stick, so they look like us
I shit and I stink, I'm real, join the club
I'd stop and talk, but I'm already in love
Already...in love...
Already...
In love...Ah ha ha ha...
Never shook Satan's hand, look see for yourself
You'd know it if I had, that shit don't come off
I'll rise and fall, let me take credit for both
Jump off a cliff, don't need your help so back off
I'll never suck Satan's dick...
Again, you'd see it, you know, right round the lips
I'll wait for an angel, but I won't hold my breath
'Magine they're busy, think I'm doing okay...
Already...in love...
Already...
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I can't figure out that look in your eyes when you laid above me, your forehead against mine.
Contempt? Hatred?
It is so strange to feel happy.......
Posted at 2:13:50 pm by
Jeszika Lynn
Permalink
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Sorry to disappoint you, but it's all been done before.
Posted at 8:45:03 pm by
Jeszika Lynn
Permalink
Sunday, January 11, 2009
1) Did the last person you hug have a tattoo?
Yeah
2) How did you get your last bruise?
at a club in florida - someone opened a door into my leg and I got a gigantic black bruise and two bloody cuts.
3) What was the last movie you watched?
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
4) Have you ever liked someone older than you?
usually I like people that are older than me.
5) Who was the last person to call you?
Lauren
6) Who's in your profile picture with you?
nobody- just me
7) Do you like Red Bull?
No I think it tastes bad and gives me a horrible stomach ache when I drink it with vodka.
8) Ever broken a bone?
nope
9) How many days until your next birthday?
plenty- a few months
10) What are your initials?
JLM
11) Is your hair naturally curly or straight?
straight
12) Who was the first person you talked to today?
Lauren- she woke me up
13) Are you currently sad about anything?
a little bit regretful today.
4) Do you put your subject before you type the bulletin or after?
after
15) Are you tired?
nope, just bored enough to sleep for lack of anything else.
16) Where were you yesterday at noon?
fucking on a couch in south philly
17) Would you hug the last person you hugged again?
yeah
18) Who is the last person who wrote a letter to you on paper?
"that guy"
19) Do you have a trampoline at your house?
nope but I'm sure I could make one with some of the junk laying around here.
20) Name something that made you frown today?
nothing in particular.
21) Do you find the opposite sex confusing?
yeah
22) Why did you last laugh really hard?
while watching jay and silent bob strike back
23) Does anyone think you are a bitch?
not anyone that actually knows me.
24) Who do you tell EVERYTHING to?
Lauren and Chris
25) Is there anyone you want to come see you?
Yup, but not the person I should be wanting to see.
26) What are you listening to?
some bullshit on my itunes
27) What's your desktop background?
some hot girl dressed as a nurse in latex with medical supplies
28) How many letters are in your last name?
9? I think?
29) Do you clean when you're upset?
nope, I sleep. that's why the house is so dirty.
30) If one of your friends called you at 3am to come get them would you?
yeah, I would like that.
31) Boy or a girl to text you last?
Lauren, about wings.
32) How do you feel right now?
understimulated and lacking social interaction.
33)Does your phone usually go off in the middle of the night?
not really. my phone doesn't go off a lot
34) Has anyone ever told you they wanted to be with you forever?
Yup, and we aren't together anymore.
35) How many hours did you sleep last night?
not alot. had bad insomnia last night because I really wanted to have sex.
36) Do you trust anybody of the opposite sex?
yup. Chris.
37) Where is your three and two on your top right now?
In vegas fucking pornstars XD
38) Who was the last person's lap you sat on?
Xris's probably.
39) Do you think you're old?
nope
40) Are you a jealous person?
when it comes to male affection, yes
41) Do you wear contacts?
nope
42) What were you doing an hour ago?
laying here staring at my computer.
43) Are you a morning person or a night person?
Night time
44) What are you wearing?
black tank top that says "I fucked your boyfriend" and some black pj pants
45) If you could go back in time and change things, would you?
normally I would say yes, but I always think that everything happens for a reason and lately things are getting back on track. Life is very long and I'm not rushing.
46) If you could seek revenge on someone would you?
Nope, don't care enough to bother. they will get what is comming to them in the end.
47) Have you ever been around someone who was high?
yeah
48) Did you have a good birthday last year?
yup!
49) Who was the last person that you were in the car with?
I usually drive by myself
50) Do you like someone that doesn't know you like them?
I'm pretty sure they can figure it out.
51) What are you not looking forward to?
nothing, I would be happy to have something to not look forward too right now, because that would mean that something was actually happening.
52) What were you doing at 10 this morning?
dreaming a very good dream.
53) Is there a girl that knows everything or mostly everything about you?
Lauren
54) Do you have unlimited texting?
yup
55) Have you ever crawled through a window?
yeah. used to crawl into Drey's window all the time when we would get locked out of the house.
56) Who is someone you wish you could fix things with?
Thinks aren't broken with me and many people, but there are a few I can think of.
57) Do you know anyone named Mike?
yeah
58) Who was the last person you took a picture with?
huh, no one in a while. Skye I guess
59) Is there anything stressing you out currently?
yeah a little bit
60) Do you text in class?
I usually wait for a break
61) Do you remember what you were like a year ago?
Yeah, doesn't feel very long ago or very different.
62) Is the sun shining?
nope it's dark
63) Last thing you watched on youtube?
some dumb afi video
64) How many hours of sleep do you get every night?
depends on the night
65) When was the last time you cried really badly?
last time I cried really badly when I was sick a few weeks ago. last time I cried was yesterday which was really annoying.
66) Why did you cry?
Because I was so sick it was hurting real bad.
67) Are you currently frustrated with someone?
yeah a few people
68) You want to get married?
yup!
69) Is there someone of the oppisite sex you tell everything to?
Yeah, chris hears about most all of it.
70) Have you ever regretted letting someone go?
Letting someone go, no. Not going with someone, yes.
71) Is your hair curly?
nope
72) Do you like watching musicals?
only really weird ones XD
73) What type of bed do you have?
a really fucking comfortable one.
74) Who is the last person to text you?
Lauren, about wings (deja vu)
75) Name 4 items in front of you?
computer, window, pillows, blankets
76) What is your favorite part of yourself physically?
today my face looks pretty cute :)
77) How many messages do you have on your phone right now?
none that I haven't read
78) If you won a billion dollars,what would be the first thing you'd buy?
a pizza from pizza hut. because I'm really hungry right now.
79) Ever painted your nails black?
would have today but I don't have any black nailpolish
80) Who do you really want to be with right now?
anyone, I'm so tired of sitting here right now.
81) Would you ever like to work at a strip club?
I would like the money, but I don't do that kind of stuff.
Posted at 9:14:11 pm by
Jeszika Lynn
Permalink
Saturday, January 10, 2009
People always ask me what I see in you. All that I have for them is this:
When you smile at me I feel like the most beautiful girl in the world.
You bring out the worst in me, but I wouldn't have it any other way.
Posted at 8:54:59 pm by
Jeszika Lynn
Permalink
